sunday 4-18-10

In every decision we make, it is us who makes the choices. It is us to blame on the outcome, because it is our own will who decides what’s best for ourselves. But humans are sensitive and make mistakes. Humans cannot comprehend all the tribulations of the earth. And dealing with our neighborhood is much harder than dealing with any kind of God’s creation.

Depression occurs when we can no longer absorb all this motion. When we choose to shut up, it is when the hurt cut deep in our hearts. Sometimes when we choose to be voiceless, it is where the unsolicited notion resounds. We talk to ourselves and to our friends, not knowing that we referred to the angels and demons we imagined.

I have not known his actions and reactions. I am not aware of his life, all I know is he is normal just like me. I have approached him not knowing that his depression is attacking him. It is during our prayers, when he uttered his prayer that I only understand his behavior. It is during our prayers that I was enlightened. I felt guilty though, but good thing about it, it awaken me of how great blessing God has poured in me. Through it, my awareness of reality broadens.

It is also during our prayer that one brother revealed that he hasn’t visited his mom at the provincial jail for ten years. The brother is funny and very helpful. It was a shock to me to hear of his story.

It is during mingling with our neighborhood that we tend to understand life, it is when reality unlocks. We were not all born on the same level and on the same time for us to appreciate and empathize with our fellow. In pursuit of our happiness, we stumble and frustrate, in doing so may we hold on to His promise that he will not leave us. He will cast the burdens we carry.