reduce stress

it's been what, 3 weeks? but i still can't get over you. everytime na naiisip kita, minsan napapaiyak pa rin ako. huh! im sure nakangiti ka habang nakatingin ka sa amin noh..parang nakikita ko na dimple mo...natatawa ka siguro noh!?

funny, hindi ako makatulog mag isa sa room ko. hindi ako makatulog sa lights off. pero minsan im whispering na sana dumalaw ka sa panaginip ko, na sana yakapin mo ako ng mahighpit...pero joke lang yun, kaya huwag mong seryosohin ah...
i know you're your at peace nah.

dont worry, im better now compare during the first week. alam ko, gusto mo laging happy dibah. soon, i will realized completely why your life has to be sacrificed. i dont want to force myself, kasi it will haunt me parin eh...
"midinan ya ring mayap a oras" sabi mu pin....

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listed below are guidelines para maging smooth ang paghinga natin..hehehe..actually, alam na natin ang mga ito, but sometimes kailangan katukin at i remind ang ating isip at puso...so here they are:

1. Pray.
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more.. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot.. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31).

IN PAIN

I went to the gym…my usual routine. 8:30-9:30 combat time! A group exercise where we kick and punch. And yeah, how I enjoy every minute of that exercise. I positioned myself, soon enough we began the exercise. Hindi ko maintindihan ang katawan ko kung bakit at that time wala sa mood. At around 9:10 lumipat ako sa likod, at umupo. May isang lalaki lumapit sa akin “huwag kang umupo, baka mahilo ka” sympre alam ko ang rule na iyon, sus. After a few breath, nag join na ako sa exercise kaso ilang Segundo lang umaalis ako..until I decided na umuwi na. niyaya kona kaibigan ko na umuwi. Habang naglalakad papunta sa locker room, nasambit ko sa aking kaibigan na “its so weird, nag eenjoy ako sa combat, bakit ngayon parang wala ako sa mood. Ive been doing the exercise for almost 2 years na ngayon lang nangyari sa akin ito”. i changed shirt then tumuloy sa grocey para bumili ng ingredients for spaghetti..(hehe I was craving for pasta eh).

As soon as I reached home, pinrepare kona spaghetti. Kahit gabi, talaga naman nagluto ako. I started eating at past 12midnight. Reading the breaking dawn while eating. I look at the clock, 1:30am nah. I should be sleeping by now. So weird. Feeling ko may nakatingin sa akin, feeling ko may dumadaan sa likod ko. Tumitingin ako sa salamin every now and then. So weird. Gusto ko ng matulog pero parang hindi ako inaantok.

The next morning I received two text messages. Hindi ko muna binasa. Sabi ko, mamya na lang kapag nasa taxi na. Pagsakay ko, binuksan ko inbox, then read muna isang message from a friend, then sinunod ko ung isa…..ooohhhh nohhhh…this can’t be sabi ko sa sarili ko. Hindi pwede. I scroll down hoping to read a words saying..no, he’s fine. No, it was not him. I dialed the sender’s number pero di sya sumasagot. Pagdating ko sa office, they confirmed to me what happened. No, can’t be. Until I spoke to a friend, saying he’s gone…………oh my! He is too young. Kasama lang naming sya last Friday..we’re supposed to have breakfast nung Sunday, kaso hindi na ako lumabas. Oh noh!!! noong gabing iyon, noong oras na ako ay nasa gym, same time ng maaksidente sila, ng dalhin sya sa hospital, ng sabihing wala na syang buhay...........

Habang nasa office ako, naiimagine ko face nya. Minsan natutulala ako. Hindi ako makapaniwala, shock till now. Umuwi ako kahapon, mas masakit pala ang makita ka na lying, resting in peace forever. Pinigilan ko ang mga luha, pinigilan kong titigan ka, pero ang damdamin ayaw magsinungaling, unti unti itong bumigay.
Masakit. Biglaan ang pangyayari. Lahat hindi makapaniwala. Maraming mga katanungan. Bakit? Paano? Bakit? kung sana, kung sana? Paulit ulit na bumubulong sa isip at puso. Pero in the end, we need to accept that it happened. That you are now in heaven. it takes time.

We will miss you for sure.
Bye nards.

si cj

naalala ko, tuwing nakikita ko siya sa daan, sinisigaw ko ang pangalan nya sabay lapit sa kanya at ikikiss sa cheek at ihuhug ko. bata pa sya noon, nasa elementarya pa, ako nasa high school (oh, huwag mag-isip ng malisya) mga kaibigan ko ang mga kapatid nya. malimit akong umuwi ng probinsya pero naglalakad man sya, nakasakay sa motor basta makita sya ng dalawang mata ko isisigaw at isisigaw ko pangalan nya..cjjjjjjj...lingon sya sakin at bibigyan ako ng isang ngiti.
nakasanayan ko na iyon, kaya kahit ngayon medyo nadagdagan na ang edad ko at edad nya, ginagawa ko pa rin.

nagkita kami noong sabado ng gabi. nagtatampo daw sa akin. una, hindi ko maintidihan pero habang sinasambit nya ang rason kung bakit, doon lang naging malinaw sa akin ang lahat. may 31, 2009 nagcelebrate sya ng kanyang 20th birthday. at dahil every year binabati ko sya, at dahil naging malapit ako sa kanya, ninais nyang i-celebrate yon na kasama ako. inabangan daw nya ako, kung kaya't nang makita ako dali dali binigkas nya pangalan ko pero walang ingay na lumabas sa kanyang bibig dahil napansin nyang nakabihis ako at dali dali ding sumakay ng tricycle. nalungkot daw sya at nanghinayang. gusto pa naman daw nyang makilala ko ang kanyang girlfriend, gusto nyang maging saksi ako sa kung ano man kahihitnan ng kanilang relasyon.

ang pagsigaw ko sa pangalan nya tuwing nakikita ko sya, ang paghalik sa pisngi at paghug ko sa kanya ay hindi lang isang gesture or isang hobby ko bagkus isang paalala sa kanya na mahal ko sya na parang isang bunsong kapatid. siguro, ganoon din nararamdaman nya kaya ganoon na lamang ang paulit ulit nyang pagsambit na nagtatampo sya sa akin.

si cj, belated happy birthday sa iyo. bawi ako next year.
remember sabi ko..bata kapa, take time okay sa alright!

mission: GK

And I always believe that we are here on earth not to live para sa sarili at pamilya lang, but to share to our neighbors to whatever help we can extend. Returning all the blessings that God has given us. A help doesn’t mean financial donation, it could be a simple as following the traffic rules o kaya just doing good deeds. Minsan kasi tayo complain ng complain, but we forgot to ask ourselves..ako ba, ano ba ginagawa ko to make this world a better place to live in.

Kapag may opportunity na pwede akong makatulong especially sa community where I belong, talaga naman….excited ang puso ko.

Together with my fellow sfc – we went to pampanga para magbigay ng munting regalo sa mga batang mag-uumpisa na sa kanilang pag-aaral. Notebook, pad, pencil, ballpen, crayons. It was my second time to be in that place, pero each has different impact in my life. Iba, iba ang pakiramdam kapag nakatulong ka. Helping without expecting anything in return. Minsan iniisip ko kulang pa,,kulang pa ang tulong na binibigay ko,..and I’m yearning for more.

Mood: happy!

Reason: hindi dahil uminom ako ng enervon c na vitamin, hindi rin dahil happee toothpaste ang gamit ko kundi ang puso ko ay tumitibok tibok…..ayyyy,,hindi dahil natagpuan ko na ang aking pag-ibig kundi at long last for 8 years or long pa(!?) I haven’t talk to a friend eh finally the cold war has ended.

Dahil sa mga circumstances na nangyari sa aming paligid, naging mailap kami sa isa’t isa. Pero noong nakaraan gabi, siguro si Lord gusto nang maibsan ang bigat na aking nararamdaman, it was time for us to forget all the bad things happened, time for us to mend the broken heart (naks naman!!!...as if).

Sympre dahil sa sobrang tagal na naming hindi nag-uusap, ayun reminisce kami ng past. 8 years na no talk, omg! Tlga…I didn’t recognize her voice, parang naging mature na, pero soft spoken pa rin. She has one son na, though everybody thinks napag-iwanan na nila ako (eh ok lang, kapag ako nagkaroon ng baby, eh luma na yung baby nila nun…hahahahah).

Hayyyyy……tagal ko ring hinintay na maging malapit kami muli sa isa’t isa. Gosh, I miss her! She is one friend na talagang I cherished. Hindi naman kami actually nag-away, yung mga nakapaligid lang sa amin…hayyy mahabang kwento un, kaya since okei na kami, nevermind na na lang. I know hindi na maibabalik yung dati naming bonding sa isa’t isa pero still, atleast I am at peace na with myself and with her

Lord, thank you! Mmmuuuahhhh!