just around the corner

christmas day is over. but buying round shape fruits, smirnoff vodka, noodles, pork, beef (no chicken allowed) for the new year's eve is just starting. yesterday after going to the gym i thought of dropping by the supermarket. long lines in the cashier is inexplicable so theres no room for inpatience. i only bought some items needed and ill just go the nearest supermarket for additional items early morning tomorrow.

dec. 31
now, ill just stay at home to clean my room and wash my clothes. later, ill prepare our dinner. last night i saw on the show "us girls" the customized shoes and bags. one of which has a botique located at trinoma mall. ill probably visit that tomorrow. i've checked on multiply site their stuff and gosh! i want to have one of those especially that customized hand painted shoes. i still dont have a gift for myself. im thinking of buying a shoes, a jewelry (tiffany bracelet) or a watch (fossil). its only proper to treat myself, after a one year of hardwork i think i deserve that.

going home with snowy

at a last minute i decided to spend my christmas at the province. and of course i brought my dog with me. i can't afford to leave her alone at home during this special occassion. i thought i would have a hard time to travel her, but she was so quiet. she just sat down on my lap all the time.

on our way, we met people who were scared of her but mostly they adore her. how could you resist touching her soft fur and staring her round bright brown eyes...

snowy is my baby. she brought a new life to enjoy.

since we arrived at our grandmother's house, snowy doesnt want to be left alone. and so, i brought her with me wherever i go. except when i attended the midnight mass. i just cant bring her. she might get bored. hahahahah.

and of course that night, when all the lights off, just as we usually do in my bed, she sleeps besides me. we slept in a room where my tita grace and her 3months baby sleep too.

oh, snowy is a good girl. she knows when to be silent.

cold wind blows

christmas celebration is the grandiest, longest, much awaited, expensive holiday celebration. i love buying gifts and receiving gifts too...but more than the material thing it brings, most importantly its the time wherein friends and old friends meet. family forgives. and street kids remembered.
christmas brings comfort, joy, love, faith and forgiveness.

it is also at this time i wish my mom is with us. it's more than five years now since we last hug each other. as much as i want to make christmas and other occassions happy and memorable, i just cant. i can still feel the emptiness in my heart.

i am no kid at all. in fact im in my late 20's but my mom is my bestfriend. i remember when i was still in school, she'll wait outside whenever i go home. she prepares my food and medicines whenever im sick. she laugh to my joke. sometimes i even sleep besides her.
gosh!! im teary eye now...huhuhuhuhu.

i cant wait to see mom again. i'll tour her (and myself too!!!) to boracay, to bohol, to palawan and to alot of nice places here.

although i talk to my mom almost everyday. thanks to the technology. there's the cellphone and the internet. you can even see each other while talking.

oh God, hear my prayer. i hope i'll get a visa so i could visit my mom. oh please!!

so, few hours from now its christmas time.
my elder brother is in the province. mom is out of country as well as the youngest. so, three of us left at home. my dad, my one brother and me. how will we celebrate the christmas?

sister at that

its very hard and challenging to be a parent. why i say so, because being the only daughter, i took the responsibility of my mother to my three bothers. though my brothers are no longer teenager, still they need to supervise their behavior and their lifetsyle. many times i feel like their not listening to me. whenever i contest their manners and activities they take it against me. one day i burst my anguish to my mom. i told her that it is so hard to discipline them.

mom said to me then " that's why im thankful to God that He gave me a daughter who is so caring to her siblings"

honestly, i am trying and doing my very best to be a good sister and a friend to them. i dont know if they in any way appreciate it. sometimes i feel like i am failed at that.

toxic week

it all started on monday, july 24, wherein we had our dance practice after office hour. followed by tuesday and wenesday. so, physically it was really tiring but relaxing as well, it was a relief and a moisture on skin because it realeases salty fluid that is a result of anxiety and of strenuous activity

on wenesday after the dance practice, i met my cousins. we went to a comedy bar at timog avenue. at that, i heard my stomach yearning for a food. so i ordered burger and fries and a botlle of san mig strong ice
we went home at 2:oo in the morning. and i have a office the next day.

on thursday was our company's anniversary. from morning till night, i oversee the venue and the program itself. i even forgot to have a meal and only drink water, iced tea and red wine.
it was tiring yet enjoyable. i went home late night, and as usual, have a office the next day

come friday, we went to dencio's with my officemates. we had a drink, i had six (6) bottles of san mig strong iced. im not drunk though...okay, okay i am a bit tipsy. usually the maximum volume my body can take is up to 2 bottles only.it was my first time to consume 6 bottles!!!!! and it was one of the best drinking session i had!!! as expected, i went home at 2:00 in the morning and yeah, you guess it right, i had to go to office that morning

saturday night, once again, i went out. sing, dance, drink and cigarette was our way to enjoy the night and besides there's no work the next day. oh well, there's no work but i had to go to province to attend the wedding of my brother! huh!

isn't that a toxic week!!!??? uhhmnn, well, im just giving my life a bit of spice.

me

is it hard to describe yourself? i guess not because that is yourself. but then again, there are certain points wherein we can't see what others can see. that's why we often said that, just ask my friends and or my enemies perhaps. they better know the real me.

but hold on...let me try to describe myself...


1. i don't care what life you have, what life my neighbors choose to live. that is their life, and i respect that.
2. i hate to cry when i have problems, and i hate seeing someone cry to death when he/she has a problem. for me it's a sign of weaknesses.
3. i am loud when im with persons/friends i like, but i am quite when i dont like the croud.
4. smoking and drinking alcohol is okay with me as long as it isn't too much
5. sometimes i utter hurting words
6. i get pissed off when you cannot comprehend whatsoever
7. i believe in the power of prayer
8. i believe that man and woman create unequally with different functions that complete one another
9. life is so damn beautiful
9. i love children, i love to teach them abcd, 123
10. i love my family
11. i love dancing
12. i keep a note of my thoughts
13. i hate cleaning the rest room
14. i enjoy cooking
15. my room is my favorite spot in the house
16. my favorite color is pink - i love the joy and energy it brings
17. i hate purple but its elegant color
18. i would like to experience bungee jumping
19. my favorite country is japan, although i haven't been there
20. i love watching ice hockey, volleyball, extreme games
21. my favorite hollywood actor is matt damon and harrison ford
22. my favorite hollywood actress is sandra bullock
23. politics news and conversation interest me
24. i admit i am a flirt at times
25. there are two men i wish would be the father of my children
26. i always remind myself to spare a time to pray and hear mass
27. i give my best when i work.
28. i experienced having a double job, one during weekdays and another on sundays
29. i sometimes drink alcohol > vodka smirnoff and san mig strong iced are my fave
30. when i drink, that's the only time i smoke. > marlboro lights is my cigar
31. i wash my own clothes
32.




so, this is me. you may agree, annoyed, whatsoever, that is part of your freed0m. i respect that. anyhow, we are all unique individual with unique personalities.

REUNION

Saturday > july 7 >

barbeque party



gee....its raining here, how could i go out to meet my friends. i am skeptical. should i go or should i stay?



my friends insisted that i should come saying that i (and gem) scheduled this get together.



that leaves me no choice, yeah i did schedule it so its only proper that i am present



....and.............thank goodness, i did come

transformer

i watched it with my brother dhats at the trinoma mall

they are more than meets the eye. they are robots in disguise. they are at war

it was wow!

very funny! too...

i like it when they transform from cars to robots

and how on earth a martian would access the worlwideweb, moreso the e-bay!

they surely know how to make things go bang!

irrational

If only minds are for sale
Consumer wouldn’t risk acquiring mine
It’s a bad deal
For if you unwrapped it,
You’ll find it very irrational
I do not understand mine.
In fact, I do not know what to do.
I do not know what I want
I do not know where I’m going
Crazy I am, yes.
I live life as it is everyday.
I try to keep myself busy so as
Not to sense the boredom of my life
But it just haunts me every now and then
It’s tough to get up now and go

you

when i first saw you,
i was afraid to talk to you
and so im pleased in merely looking at you
when you smile,
everything seems so light
and i rejoiced at seeing you this way
when i first talked to you,
i know i stumble
i feel like a child
blinded about my behavior
yet your words indeed echoes on my mind
and i let it flow through me
when i first liked you,
i was afraid to love
i don't know how it happened
i even suppress my feelings but
i like the sensations my heart decides
so it gives me pain, and its unbearable
i know my heart is very stubborn
it keeps on loving and longing too much
for nothing at all

raindrops

Have you experienced walking from UST to Rotonda ? Walking along the sidewalks with a knee level water, with different trash in it? And while rain pours?

I just did, awhile ago….
I came from shop.
All taxi drivers refused to drive me home.
That left me no choice but to walk.
The cars are not moving.
It’s almost 10:00pm.
I was scared.
I kept on praying….oh God keep me safe.
My legs are shaking.
Deep inside i was crying.
oh God, keep me safe.

It’s a one experience I’ll never forget, and will always be remembered especially during rainy days.

There’s always a first time as they say.

overtime

It’s nice to be a busy person at times. It makes my mind and body active and productive.
It makes my body system served its purpose.

Today is my second day to overtime my office work. I decided to do this after office hour because I cannot anymore pay attention to this in the office because of some other official transactions to do.

I am with my friends who are reviewing for the coming bar exam.
Aside from doing my job, once in a while I also read their law books just to give me an idea how perfect (idealistic too) our law is and how imperfect our leaders are, once in a while I also surf the net and read the blog of some colleagues just to update me on what’s going on with their life, once in a while I also play games in the computer just to relax my mind.

Before we went to this coffee shop, I came straightly from shop. I also manage a salon shop. After office hour, I go home to have a one hour break, either I will sleep or just sit down and watch TV. Afterwards, I’ll go then to shop and stay there for two to three hours.

In case I have a commitment during night hour, ill schedule it after going to salon. My body now accepts my daily routine. It’s tough, like all starters, it was hard. But the harder it gets, the tougher you will be.

As of now, I also plan to work part time in a coffee shop. I already started typing my resume and before this week ends, it will be posted on the human resource department of the company I would like to join.

And yet, I feel like there’s so much to do and so little time.
I still wanted to put up another business but that’s another story, and it will take a long period probably before I start that….in a year or two perhaps?

Don’t get me wrong.
I am enjoying my life. I still watch movie. In fact 3 days after it was first shown in theater, I watched Spiderman. Just a week before that I watched Perfect Stranger starring bruce willis and halle berry

Last week, I went home to province to meet some friends.

I am also updated on what’s going on with our beloved country. Election is done, but comelec official count is yet to be finished. Probably this weekend they will proclaim some winning candidates.

Paris Hilton is jailed because of her road violation. Ruffa Gutierrez finally spill out that she is now separated to husband Ylmas Bektas (which I’m sure is no shocking at all). Marjorie is separated to husband Dennis Padilla (now, that is shocking)

Maging Sino Ka Man (teleserye) has a book II

I just really don’t want to have a dull time .
But of course, I give myself a break.
Our body needs to rest to earn energy for the next drive.

It’s been a long time since I had my last drink of san mig ice cold. I think that was early week of February, and only finished half of the bottle). Dancing in the floor, bottoms up, flirting, hang over…how I missed this entire thing.

These past few months, my gimmick is limited to starbucks (paseo, morato, west ave), food trip (paseo, morato, west ave), tambay (shop o sa bahay), malling (gateway, rockwell)….

SO BOOOORRRRIIINNNGGG…..right!? I remember, someone actually told me that. Doh! I thought that’s all I need to live.

Until lately, I’ve realized that we need to be crazy at times. We need to unravel our accustomed lifestyle and let our soul roam and embrace the outrageous standard of living.

And it feels good.
It feels good to be dizzy.
It feels good to be able to drink 3 bottles of san mig ice cold beer
Vodka iced and Smirnoff taste very good as well.
It feels good to go home at2:30 in the morning. (I even forgot my key, so I have no choice but to call and disturb my dad at the wee hour)

Once in awhile we need it, just to refresh our mind.
It helps, yeah, somehow.

Next time, I challenge myself to finish 5 bottles of san mig.

choices

in life, there's always a choice. it is and will always be a choice.

sharing this with you is a choice. inhaling is a choice.

to be happy is a choice.........

there are times wherein its so hard to make a choice because you know one way or another someone would benefit or someone would be harm.

but you need to decide, you need to choose...

fiesta

april 30, may 1

i went out to inhale a fresh air. just wanna unload this heavy feeling inside my heart, my mind.

april 30 - 9:30pm when we arrived to pampanga. we had a dinner at my tita glend's house. whhoaah!! nasira diet ko. chicharon, sugpo, crabs and my favorite dinuguan...gossshhhh!

may 1 - we got up at 10:00am. sarap daw tulog ko kanya hindi ako ginising. we went back to tita glend's house for our lunch. how could you resist the chicharon again, lenggua, menudo, lutong juice,....goodness.

all we did is to eat delicious food and play video games with our cousins. being with children makes you feel young and innocent again. no worries, no burdens. just a genuine laugh and happiness.

that night, we dine in a resto called "mely's" in san fernando. though i am from that province, yet it was my first time to seat in that place. its no cozy, yet the servings is first-rate. their buro is diffrent from the traditional buro in fish i used to eat. the sisig, whewww!very yummy. kapampangan....its their trademark, serving incomparable taste of mouth watering cuisine.

so nice to be a kapampangan.

my friend said that she now realized that kapampangan are very kind hearted, that not all of them are mayabang just like her impression before. (my dear friend, i am telling you, we are really mayabang in different aspect....your impression is still true )

9:30pm when we left san fernando, take note....we still need to drop by to bulacan and go back to manila...and were just taking the public transpo....