Wednesday, June 25, 2008

whew.....i feel so sorry.

Whew!. Our dsl at home was disconnected due to some technical problems. I never thought that it would give me a hard time. Aside from not reading some mind blowing post (as if), I was not able to chat with my mom and brother (using the cell phone is too costly for us, that’s why we rely on internet instead). I missed blogging. It’s been awhile since my last post.

When did I start blogging? I started it here last year of may but was not able to give time till last april. Actually, ive been writing my journal ever since in high school. I just like holding a pen and writing my whereabouts and just any stuff.

Especially when I’m feeling anger, writing it completely would let go the harsh feeling.

Hayyyy,,,,,,,im not angry now, I just feel guilty.

My good friend called and told me that she will take advantage of our friendship (oh, okey). I had an idea on where her story is heading. So I advise her not to play around the bush, so as not to make my heart beat faster. As I guess it right, she is barrowing a P50,000 pesos. (whew…laki noh). I do not know why some of my friends, when needed money, approach me. Probably they are aware of my weakness, which I would not turn them down. (as if,,,,feeling mayaman! Huh!). Teasingly, given the scenario, I told this good friend not to test our friendship because I’ve proven how I love her, how I value our closeness. I asked for some time to find ways how to produce the sum. She needed the money on or before the 30th of June. I know how important it is for her, but as much I really wanted to help her, I just cannot provide the money. My very first time to decline a friend and I feel so guilty.

Because of my willingness to help my friends, I had made some sufferings before. For some greedy reasons they have, they took advantage of my gentle heart. I trusted some friends but they betray me, now I still endure the consequence, well, at least I’ve learned my lesson…..the hard way. Huh!

And to you my good friend, im sorry girl. And besides wala rin naman akong pera eh.


Ely said...

Let go of the guilt, sometimes we should learn how to say "no".

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